Q & A about Family Ministry

On this page of my blog, I look to relay many of the questions that I have heard about Family Ministry, Famliy Worship and all things Family.  My prayer is that God will use this part of the blog to deepen your understanding of Family Ministry so that you can implement this in your home, which will impact the church, which will impact the culture for the Kingdom of God. 

Also, if you have a question that I have not answered, please feel free to leave it on the “Did I Tell You…” page of the blog.

Question- Why Family Ministry?

Answer- I believe Family Ministry is not the answer.  What? The gospel is!  No ministry in our churches will ever succeed unless the core of it is the gospel.  With that said, I believe the best way to live out the gospel in our everyday lives is through what we call Family Ministry.

Question- What is the difference between Family Integrated, Family Equipping and Family Based, Ministry?

Answer- This could turn into a very longwinded answer…so…the best advice I can give to answer this question is to read the book “Perpsectives on Family Ministry,” edited by Timothy Paul Jones.  In this book you will read through a great synopsis of Family Integrated, Family Equipping and Family Based.  You will also see what some of the current “experts” are saying should happen when you try to implement one of these models into how your church will live out Family Ministry

Question- Which one of the models (Family Integrated, Famiy Equipping and Family Based) do I prefer?

Answer- I lean much more towards the Family Equipping model.  I believe for the majority of our churches in the 21st Century, this is the best way to live out Family Ministry.  This model of Family Ministry is distintiver in this way, “Family-Equipping churche retain some aged-organized ministries, but restructure the congregation to partner with parents at every level of ministry so that parents are acknowledged, equipped and held accountable for the discipleship of their children.” (Quote from “Perspectives on Family Ministry” in the chapter Family Equipping Ministry page 144).  I believe the key for me in this model, which I love so much is the fact that the church does not steal kids away from mom and dad and become some superman of faith for kids.  Instead, the church trains and equips parents to live out the truth of Scripture, that parents are to be held accountable for the discipleship of their children.  However, I do want to make it known that I also agree, in part, with the Family Integrated model.   I believe the Family Integrated model can be done in effect with chuches that are newly forming or churches that are reforming.  To read more about Family Integrated, please read the Perspectives book that I mentioned above, or read Voddie Baucham’s book, “Family Driven Faith.”

Question- Why Family Worship In The Home?

Answer- 1.) Because it is Biblical.  2.) Because God calls parents to train up/disciple/mentor their children in the faith.  What better, more awesome way to do that then to lead Family Worship in the home every day.  As Joshua said, “As for me and my house we will serve (which means worship) the Lord.,” will you choose this day to have your home a place that worships the Lord? If so, then you need to get into the discipline of worshipping the Lord in your home. This will be a great way to teach your children about the truth of Scripture, the doctrines of our faith and also a time to glorify the Lord together!

Question- How Do I Start Family Worship In The Home?

Answer- Let me first encourage you with the fact that Family Worship should take just as much heart preperation as does our Sunday morning gathering times.  Family Worship is a time in your home when your family comes together to worship the Lord in the home.  As Joshua said, “As for me and my house we will serve (which means worship) the Lord.,” will you choose this day to have your home a place that worships the Lord? If so, then you need to get into the discipline of worshipping the Lord in your home.  For those of you who have never done Family Worship in your home please know that this will be a work in progress.  You do not need to become Super home in a day.  So…

1.  I challenge you to start off slow (once or twice a week) and work into making Family Worship a way of life. 

2. You will need to schedule a time to do Family Worship.  Just like we schedule Sunday morning worship in our churches, you need to set a time in your home for Family Worship.

3.  I recommend staring off with prayer, then singing (something simple or profound…whatever fits you…but know that this singing in your home will be one of the best ways to proclaim the truth of Scripture to your kids), then…

4.  Open up God’s Word and read together.  Dads and Moms, I challenge you to find a passage to memorize together and allow that verse to be what drives you to a story to read with your children. For example, our family was working on Psalm 46:1 and so we found bible stories that emphasized that verse (ie we read about Daniel and the Lions Den, Elijah and the Widow etc).  Then as we memorize the verse we are able to think about stories in the Bible that show that verse in action.  Another easy thing to do is to pick up a great Family Devotional book and use this together.

5.  At the end of your time together, I would challenge you to spend time in prayer using the ACTS Acronym (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication).

Let me also challenge you that if you have a broad range of children (like my wife and I do…we have a 7,5,3 and 2 year old) then you need to really prepare for how this will look in your home.  Your two year old can not sit as long as your seven year old.  But, as you work on this discipline together you will be amazed, over time, at how your younger child will sit and be more involved.  Again, make sure to start slow and work into it.  When you get frustrated that your younger child is not sitting there (as I have in the past) remember that this is a work in progress and you are doing Family Worship because you want to glorify the Lord. 

Question- What are some good books to read about the How and Why of Family Worship

Answer- There are many great books out there on this.  However, the three that I have found most helpful (mainly because they are shorter books and to the point) are…  1) Family Worship by Joel Beeke,  2) Family Worship:In The Bible, In History and In Your Home By Donald Whitney and 3) The Family Worship Book by Terry Johnson

Question- What is a great way to teach my older child doctrinal truths if we have younger children that are doing Family Worship with us?

Answer- That is a great question.  What we do in our home is that we first have Family Worship together and we follow the model I laid out above.  Then, right before bed time my wife and I will sit with our older children on their bed and read Scripture with them.  This allows us about 10 minutes to read Scripture with them and talk about some doctrinal truths that they could understand.  We are also thinking about talking to them about some more theology issues when they get a little older. A GREAT book to use for this would be “Big Truths For Young Hearts,” by Bruce Ware.

Question-  What are some good resources to use so that I might learn doctrinal truths to teach to my children

Answer- There are so many great resources out there, but make sure you know what you are getting first! Make sure that Biblical truth is taught in those resources.  Here are some that I love and I hope will be a blessing to your family:  1) Big Truths For Young Hearts by Bruce Ware.     2) Christian Beliefs by Wayne Grudem     3) The Big Book of Questions and Answers by Sinclair Ferguson    4)  The Message of the Old Testament: Promises Made by Mark Dever    5) The Message of the New Testament: Promises Kept by Mark Dever    6) Long Story Short by Marty Machowski      7) The Godly Home by Richard Baxter

Question- Should We Do Away With Children and Student Ministry?